How to make yourself do something (when you don’t feel like it)
Motivation is a fragile concept… It comes and goes unexpectedly. Whether we are dead set on our goals or loosely thinking about our future. I bet all of us have bursts of motivation followed by days or weeks of inaction. There are always things we just don’t feel like doing. Tax returns, cleaning, meal prep, finishing this project before the deadline… you know how it goes.
But what if I told you that you are not lazy - that most of it come directly from your head?
Feelings are often accompanied by urges. Those urges can be powerful as they seek to relieve us of discomfort and seek reward. The problem with long-term plans is… there’s no instant reward to which our brains are used in our times. But even though those urges can be powerful, we don’t have to do what they say.
Opposite action:
I bet you have had a sore throat once or twice in your life. A sore throat is usually accompanied by throat pills that need to be held in your mouth until it completely melts. you with me, yeah? Good… Now… How many of you can do it without crushing the pill or playing with it? I see no hands in the air. If you are sick right now and have one of those in your mouth (or try any time in the future), you may notice that your brain focuses on the experience. You will get to observe the sensation of the urge. You absolutely want to bite and crush it, and I know it. By not crushing it - you will create a gap between the urge and the action. Simply by the pure fact of paying attention to it.
An opposite action is a deliberate attempt to take an action opposite to what the emotion wants you to do. (Because, for example, your throat is really getting bad, and you know you have to let it melt).
Here are the 6 rules on how to do things when we don’t necessarily feel like doing them.
Take motivation out of the equation.
Habits are the learned behaviours that we will follow every single day. For example - you don’t ask yourself if you are motivated enough to make yourself coffee or tea… you know you NEED it to function. The same goes for brushing your teeth. Those are positive actions that threw the motivation out of the equation. You don’t even think about it anymore - you just do it. Your brain needs to create a connection for everything that you do. When you repeat the action on a regular basis, over a long period of time… Those paths are well-preserved and easy to follow. And trust me or not - your brain is lazy and likes those nice, paved paths. This is why starting a “new habit” always seems so hard while getting to your “old habits” feels so easy. You have probably heard that “It takes 21 days to start a new habit”, and out of experience - I am not sure if such a specific number really works. There are things you can do, though - to make things easier or… harder. And both are equally important.
2. Make specific plans.
Saying, “I’ll work out every day”, is not going to get you far. Why? Because there are a couple of things your brain doesn’t know… (when, where, what, for how long?). Setting up serious goals with detailed information is one of the secrets to success. Since we are on a workout topic, let me tell you what my goal was when I started. “I will work out on weekdays for an hour, using Body by Blogilates, before breakfast.” Now, this is oddly specific, isn’t it? Believe me or not - but it helped. I have set up my daily planner with a couple of specific things in it. And the more specific I got - the easier it was to follow. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down your goals. Then make them as specific as possible. Think them through. Are you able and willing to get up at 6 am to work out for an hour? Will you have enough time to eat breakfast and go to work then? Create milestones and goals within the big goal to make it more manageable. Make it real and doable.
3. Be clear about your WHY
Let me give you an example: Why have I decided to live a healthy life? My why may be different than you may think: I just don’t want to pay for the medicine and operations that will reverse all of my bad choices. I want to feel good, share the good and not be dependent on a pill or a scalpel. The longer - the better. Why have I stopped drinking coffee entirely? Because I didn’t want to be dependent on any type of substance, I didn’t want to wake up at night with cramps while shaking during the day and having issues falling asleep. Why did I create this YouTube channel? Because I want ultimate freedom for everyone. You get the point, right? Ask yourself why the change is needed and why it is essential for you. Feel free to come back to it when times are hard.
4. Make the new behaviour as easy as possible
Want to start your fitness journey and work out every day before work? Good idea. Do you know how to make it easier? Prepare your workout clothes the day before so when you enter the bathroom - everything is already there. Don’t like the gym and the ride there? Work out from home, get the mat ready and download a workout app (or watch youtube tutorials) I personally use Body By Blogilates, not sponsored. Want to eat healthy? Fill your fridge with healthy foods only. Want to edit one video a day? Start importing the files to your editing program an evening before, so once you sit down in front of your computer - it’s all ready and accessible.
5. Since we’re on it… make bad behaviours as HARD as possible,
I know… it’s easy to get up, go to the fridge, grab chocolate and… eat it. Or drink a glass of wine every evening. Now… Imagine that you’d have to go to the store to get the chocolate, same regarding the wine. Now… Do you REALLY want this chocolate? Do you REALLY need this glass of wine? This will take a longer time. And yes, you can order some, but you’ll have to wait. And spend extra money. Actually, delete uber eats and all the other food delivery apps from your phone. Install time-saving apps on your computer, blocking you from social media. Make the behaviour you want to get rid of as hard as possible. Why? This will make it easier to follow the behaviours you want to have. Especially since you have already made them easy.
6. Add a mix of short and long-term rewards
Internal rewards actually work better than external ones. Meaning trophies do less than our internal celebration. Take yourself for a date, or invite your date for a date. Get yourself a massage or a float session. Take care of yourself. And do it as often as your milestones require. Because yes… This will need milestones.
And yes… Creating new habits and forcing yourself to do things may be really hard and troublesome. I hope those 6 rules of “doing anything” will help you out on your journey to become the best version of yourself. Let me know what good habits you want to start and which ones you want to get rid of.
But… that’s not all… I will be making a video about my biggest tips and tricks to making myself do things even though I don’t really feel like it, which will work well with the video from today. If it’s already up - you will be able to find it here in the cards. In the meantime - let me know in the comments if you would be interested in it. Next week’s newsletter will also include tips and tricks on “doing something”, so be sure you are signed up for that! The link to the newsletter is down below in the description box!
Let me know if you have learned anything today and if any of those tips make sense to you! You can watch the video about this topic on my YouTube, and be sure to subscribe it for more!
I’ll see you next week, bye!
